Why You Shouldn't Ditch Friends Who Only Call When They Need Stuff.
People are busy, super busy with their lives. Maintaining friendships shouldn’t be a draining endeavour.
Making friends in 4th grade wasn’t much of a hassle. You just met someone — anyone at all — and boom, a friendship was born. It didn’t matter if you two “vibed”, shared the same values, or simply had stuff in common.
Adulthood kinda changes all that. Adults find it hard to make friends, they have reservations, biases, and a whole list of preferences. For example, I prefer making friends that I can either influence, or be influenced by. Simply put, my friendships are usually mentor/mentee types. Therefore, if you’re not someone I can positively influence, or someone who i desire to be influenced by — probably due to your experience in career, relationships, spirituality, etc — there’s a tiny likelihood that we would be friends. But that’s just weird me.
There are people who make friends way easier than I do. Like the 4th grader mentioned earlier they meet someone and it’s almost like love at first sight. This piece is written for these set of people; the adults who still find it easy to make friends, but struggle with societal standards and so called rules/ ideologies on friendships, thus overwhelming people trying to fully function in their own personal lives and still maintain healthy friendships. One of these ideologies is “run away from friends who only call when they need something from you”.
Your friends aren’t rice on a stove that need regular “checks” else they burn. A healthy friendship in my opinion is one where your friend is confident enough of your abilities to proffer solutions when they’re in situations that demand these solutions, and they in-turn are also able to do likewise when the need arises.
People are busy, super busy with their lives. Maintaining friendships shouldn’t be a draining endeavour. It should simply be that you are part of a support system where every member got each other’s backs. So whether your friend calls only when she needs advice, has to borrow money (and pay back of course), or simply needs a “party crashing” partner, be there if you can. It’s not that deep.